Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
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I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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