so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
