PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
