Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
