this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
