my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
