Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh god it's open bar.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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