i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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