called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
