dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
