They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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