Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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