Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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