Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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