STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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