I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Panties = found
Randomize
