I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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