You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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