We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
