Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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