I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
