he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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