I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize