his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We smell like vodka and hangover
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