Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
