so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
not ubering you a puppy
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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