just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
third nipple confirmed
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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