Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
