im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize