Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize