your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
