Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
