now i know why i became what i already was.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
