I want to stick my p in your. b.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
