Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize