how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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