I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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