if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
