please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
