so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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