Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
