the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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