I cockslap morals
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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