it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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