so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
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I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
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She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need a beard to bite.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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