thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
