i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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