I just made out with a guy for $7.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
