So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
