im drinking this country out of the recession.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
