She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
