Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Alive.
So much puke
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
