Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
