you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
