Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
