We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
NoShamevember. You game?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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