No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
