I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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