You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
